Monday, February 28, 2011

Ten Ways to improve the Academy Awards by Kate Johns

I was going to write a blog post totally dissing the Academy Awards. But haven't a million bloggers,and reporters already done just that? It's sad when the mozst remembered moment fo the Academy awards is when the best supporting actress winner got the most play for saying the F word on national TV to supposedly a billion people.
The Academy Awards are perhaps the most overrated, most boring show on TV. Even my 83 year old mom doesn't watch the Oscars, because they are too boring! What does that tell you?
The Academy Awards need to be revamped. Here are my 50 year old, astute suggestions:
1. Cut the show down to a shorter non-snoozable length. Do we really need to honor everyone in that amount of time?
2. Cut out the ultra-dull, super snooze-fest of ultra-orchestrated movie songs. They are boring! We hear them while watching something. Get the danged hint!!
3. Allow real hosts to host the Academy Awards, not actors. Bring back a funny, talented comedian. At least for the 83 AA's, Anne Hathaway tried to put some grace, style and humor onto the scene, as her co-host looked dazed and confused throughout the entire ordeal. James Franco---hello---he looked stoned! He was wobbly, his eyes were slits. Take the bong away from him!
4.Please stop acting like the Academy Awards are sooooo danged old school! Boring! Get into the 80's Oscar producers, directors, writers. In other words, get with it, cut out the garbage, the ultra boring songs, and skits and hand out the awards!!
5.Give out a major award earlier!! How about giving out a best actress award before midnight? It may only be 8;30 on the West Coast, but some of us have to work the next day.
6.Stop panning the audience. It's become more interesting to watch the shows before and after the dull Oscars , seeing them walk the red carpet.
7. It tells you something when people would rather hop on the Internet after the Oscars, to get the highlights. Yo Oscar creators, maybe you should put the show on the Internet.
8. How's this suggestion rock you? Stop boring us with the telecast of the Oscars, and give away the awards some other way. Why not just do a fashion show, or show us snippets of the best movies?
9.Please do not, ever again, bring out some old actor dude, who looks half dead. Nooooo, it's like a horror movie come to life!
10, Cut the acceptance speeches down, or out completely. Make it mandatory that only the biggest award winners are allowed to stutter on their thank yous. Copyright 2011, written by Kate Johns, a talented author who has been freelance writing since 2004.

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